I am two things: a soul and a sinner.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
It’s probably not a bad thing. I mean, it’s almost impossible to relate to someone without sin. Of course, I don’t know anyone without sin. I know people who don’t think they sin (I do this frequently). I also know people who are better at sinning less than me, but I don’t know many. It’s not that I don’t want to surround myself with people who make me want to be better.
And I try.
But not super hard.
Besides, I can imagine how awkward it would be to be around someone without sin. We’d have little in common. Talking about anything with them would be like going to confession, where I make myself feel guilty by the simple understanding of the very nature of what I am.
I think a lot of people equate faith with seriousness. I used to because it’s a serious thing, life, faith, sin, death, and everything in between. And it should be serious, but it doesn’t always have to be.
A wise man named Bob once told me he’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun. And while Billy Joel was the one who said it first, I think it’s a timeless piece of advice. After all, can’t we be sinners striving for sainthood and laugh about it all? Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev once said, “being spiritual doesn’t mean being dead serious.” Of course, I don’t know if he said that it’s on the Internet, so it must be true.
I could tell you that I’m equal parts soul and sinner, but I’d be lying because my sin far outweighs anything else that I am and probably ever will be.
That’s the nature of the game, right? The price we all pay for Eve’s impulsive snacking habits? In the garden of good and evil, we have the knowledge and free will. Like our apple-munching ancestors, we are drawn to temptation and, often, give in. When we fall, instead of taking an entire species down with us, we take our souls. The very thing that gives us life and the very thing God created for himself to love for eternity.
And you know what?
Sometimes that’s funny.
Well, not the part where we might very well choose not to spend eternity with God. That’s not funny. But sometimes the fall is loaded with humor. The journey, the sinning, the quest to find joy, and purpose, we all experience it. It’s part of life, and it’s real, and it’s raw. It’s how we learn. It’s what makes us who we are and helps guide us on the path to who we’re meant to be.
I’m made of soul and sin.
I fail a lot at doing the right thing.
But I keep trying.
Maybe, I don’t always try super hard.
I probably don’t.
That’s how I’ve lived most of my life. Now that I’m older, a smidge wiser, I can look at who I am and what I am. I can laugh at who I am so long as I never lose sight of what needs to be changed and make a continual effort to change it.
I’ve spent most of my life laughing with the sinners and crying with them too.
Life is good even when it’s not.
Saint Padre Pio once said to serve the Lord with laughter, and maybe, for some of us, that means laughing with the sinners, as a sinner, on the road to finding our inner saint.